The Cranky Ol' Bat

Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! - RuPaul


Things to do in Phoenix if you're bored.....

Well, I would be doing them myself, if I didn't have to go to Superbowl parties and talk to a friend having a major crisis in the man department (I still don't understand how all of a sudden I'm some LOVE EXPERT to my single friends since I got married.....)

But if you are so inclined, there are three things to consider, even though technically none is in Phoenix.

1) Snowbowl, up by Flagstaff, has been having the best season in probably five years. You can get a three day skiing pass for $130 and a three day snowboarding pass for $140. It includes the lift ticket & equipment rental. Basically, you get a day for free.

2) Drive along the Apache Trail. After all the rain we had last month, the wildflowers are blooming, and there's actually water in Roosevelt Lake. Again, it should be one of the best seasons in five years. Go all the way to Tortilla Flats and try some prickly pear ice cream. It's pink, pretty, and has no needles in it.....dive in.

3) And if your butt just ain't big enough, go to the Glendale Chocolate Affaire. The centerpiece is a 350 lb chocolate heart that they are raffling off to benefit some teen council activities. Since the theme is romance, there's lotsa chocolate, a bunch of romance novelists and horse carriage rides to get you in the mood. It's going on all weekend at Murphy Park (58th Av & Glendale), free admission.

Things not to do:

1) Shangri-La Nudist Resort. Still too cold. Unless you are visiting from Minnesota, you'll probably freeze something off that you would like to keep attached to your body.

The Tsar is still trying to talk me into that one. What that boy has against clothes is something I am still trying to figure out. But if it is too cold for a Muscovite, it's more than likely too cold for you. If you go and get frostbite, were warned.


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