The Cranky Ol' Bat

Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! - RuPaul


"A Very White Trash Easter" Brought to You by the Jet Set Chick

Me & the Tsar have this "downtown urban sophisticate" lifestyle thing nailed. Oh yes. We travel, we shop at Trader Joe's, we have tasteful furniture, and we have pets instead of kids (for now, anyway).

But every now and then, we have to do something a touch different so that we don't become walking cliches. So, since Tsar Charming grew up in a country without children's Easter egg hunts, I decided to provide his first ever surprise from the Easter Bunny....with a twist.

I decided to revive this goofy thing I did for my dad one Easter after I reached legal drinking age. That year, the Easter Bunny didn't leave colored hard-boiled eggs, or even the plastic candy-filled eggs. Billy Jack Jim Bob the Easter Bunny left....cans of the really cheap beer my father liked for some inexplicable reason. A six-pack, split up and hidden in the living room.

I still remember when I told my dad of this. He stopped and gave me a "what the #$%& did you say?" look. I repeated the tale of Billy Jack Jim Bob. Dad then gave me another look that seemed to say, "and I busted my ass to send you to college WHY?"

Presenting him with a grocery store paper bag with a very badly drawn rabbit on it (I told him that was his Easter "basket"), I pulled him into the living room and told him to find the beer. I can't remember where I hid them all, but there was one on top of the TV, one nestled into the sofa cushions.....just like Mom & Dad used to do for me & my brother. He collected the beer cans, and had himself a very happy Easter that year.

I did that for my dad a couple more times before his death. He played along with the joke and seemed to enjoy it every year.

Since this year is our first Easter together, I figured me & the Tsar had to do something special. I told him about White Trash Easter, and his eyes lit up. (His eyes usually light up whenever anyone mentions beer....) So, off we went to Trader Joe's, where I got him a six pack of his current favorite, Blue Paddle Pilsener. I've hidden the bottles around the living room, and now have to "decorate" the bottle carrier as his "Easter basket." My drawing skills have probably gotten even worse, so I bet this year's bunny sketch is going to be downright horrible. I'm going to blame the dogs if it's incredibly bad.

However, I can see that the Tsar really got into the spirit, since he's hidden some hard cider bottles around for me. Aww.....shucks!

Now we just got to find some monster truck rally on the TV today, and we'll be all set to celebrate in style!


UPDATE: Wow....this is now cross posted at Freepers and Hippies and Trolls, Oh My! There's other really cool stuff there too, so be sure to check it out!


  • At 10:14 PM, Anonymous cb/other said…

    :) My Dad hid beer year round!

    It wouldn't have worked for me.

    That is a very cute story. It sounds like you very close with your Dad.

  • At 10:11 AM, Blogger Kory O said…

    My Dad only hid the empties! ;)

    But yeah, we were pretty close. I miss him......


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