The Cranky Ol' Bat

Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! - RuPaul

2005-05-09

I Think I Found My Cousin Brenda!

Ok, she's living in Georgia, according to my other cousin. He thinks. He's not speaking to her so who really knows?

I wouldn't be surprised to have her show up on a similar site, though. The second-to-last time I saw her, she was living in the backwoods in Florida just outside Ft Myers. I remember crossing the bridge and noticing that all the people walking around on this island looked weirdly alike. They had this kind of slack jawed, inbred look. The vulture circling overhead freaked me out a bit, too. You just don't see them in the city.....

I finally drove out on this dirt road and my cousin lived at the end of it. Thank God I was in a rental car. My cousin greeted me and told me excitedly about the Trans Am carcass she found in the overgrown grass on the property when she went looking for one of her dogs after it got in a fight with a skunk....or something else that smelled really bad and got its stink on the pup.

I remember thinking, strip away her Brooklyn accent, and you got yourself a stereotypical redneck. And she's RELATED to me!!! AAAAARRRGGH!!

I am not making any of this up.

If any of these trailer homes look familiar, and you know a Noo Yawker named Brenda living in one of them, you probably know my cousin. My apologies.

Tell her to give me a holler on this here blog! ;)

6 Comments:

  • At 9:46 PM, Anonymous cb said…

    What kinder varmint was it she was
    yakin abouts?

     
  • At 9:59 AM, Blogger Kory O said…

    I reckon it was a stinky critter. Maybe a former boyfriend! ;)

     
  • At 3:01 PM, Blogger Slap-Happy said…

    See if you can find my Uncle Don. He was last seen driving a truck full of shotguns in Alabama.

     
  • At 7:38 PM, Blogger half said…

    Hey! A trans-camaro is a fine sculpture.

     
  • At 9:21 AM, Blogger Kory O said…

    half, especially when it is where God intended it to be....up on blocks in "the front yard"!

     
  • At 7:40 AM, Blogger Deacon Blues said…

    Slap, I'll ask my brother if he's seen your uncle Don. He and the rest of family live in or near Dothan, Peanut Capitol of the World.

     

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