The Cranky Ol' Bat

Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! - RuPaul

2005-08-15

Sorry So Late Today!

I promise to do better tomorrow.

It's just that if you know your boss is going to start the morning off with a tantrum, and his little assistant with the Napoleon complex is going to start micromanaging you....well....let's just say my current work environment is a good excuse to start the morning with a big ol' shot of tequila.

Not that I've done it.

Yet.

But, Sweet Mother Mary, I have been tempted. And I've only had this "promotion" for three weeks. (I have to say that in quotes, because I still haven't gotten any of the training I was promised. And believe me, I probably never will.)

So, if there is a day I'm late on this, it's not that I don't love you guys. I just probably need to go walk a few miles or get a margarita. Or maybe I'm composing my resignation letter one more time.

I've been experiencing major writing block after the opening, which goes something like, "Stop throwing your mail out of your office like a two year old. You're 43 for Chrissakes! I'm off to the beach in Florida. You can't come, I'm not sending you a postcard, and you had best not darken my door. My dogs only have had half their shots. I'm getting a pet gator, who will be trained to bite strangers in the ass on command."

Maybe I need to work on the subtlety.

Let's make this fun.

Friends, if you were resigning from Satan's Call Center, what would you write in your resignation letter?

3 Comments:

  • At 12:43 PM, Blogger eLarson said…

    Some lines to consider:
    "This place is a cluster-f**k of Biblical Proportions."

    "I have elected to explore a more promising opportunity in the area of septic tank maintenance."

     
  • At 7:58 AM, Blogger Deacon Blues said…

    "I have worked myself into a frenzy of lethargy so therefore I'm embarking on a career as a martini taster."

     
  • At 3:40 PM, Blogger Kory O said…

    Hmm, will have to work all three in somehow.

    Very nice, gentlemen!

     

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