The Cranky Ol' Bat

Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! - RuPaul


Yes, I Married an Alien, and I Can Prove It!

Ok, ok....the Tsar is classified by immigration as a "resident alien". Bad joke, I know.

However, for the rest of you who are wondering if....well....maybe that person you were kissing at midnight on New Year's Eve was not a fellow homo sapien, here are some ways to determine if any of your past hook-ups were more out of this world than you thought, courtesy of

If you have determined that you've been far....but you're not sure about your upcoming blind date with a person your buddy has described as "outta this world", use this product. You'll have nothing to fear.

You might turn off a real Earthling, however. It's your call!


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