The Cranky Ol' Bat

Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! - RuPaul


The Good News? You (Probably) Ain't Gonna Die Yet

Yes, the death rate in the good ol' USA dropped, and dropped pretty big, in spite of the fact that according to the media we're all a bunch of fat, lazy hogs who consider flipping the remote a form of aerobic exercise.

(You mean it's not? - ed.)

Biggest gainers in the death lotto were Hispanics, with a 6 percent drop in their death rates, followed by Native Americans at 5.9 percent. Men are also continuing to catch up with their ladies in the lifespan department. Now, the ladies outlive the gents by 5.2 years, with that number shrinking by .1 each year since 1980.

The bad news is.....I guess I gotta save more in my retirement account than I planned. Female life expectancy is heading towards the big 8-0, and no way is the Jet Set Chick going to be fighting the kitties for the last bit of Meow Mix in her golden years.


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