My Love Is Like a Red, Red Rose.....Literally!

Any schmo can get a girl some roses. If you have a few thou lying around, you can get the ultimate treatment for your beloved. That's right, a rose named after him or her. Drop 75k, and you can turn it into a vacation he or she will never forget.

There's already an orange rose that has the first name of the Tsar, so I guess I won't be doing this any time soon. Ok, it wasn't officially named after him, true....but I can pretend it was. If you are interested in a floral tribute to someone you adore, click on the link above.

One little hint, however.....if it's fragrance you're after, skip the red roses. There is a strange little genetic quirk with them that tends to eliminate or completely kill the possibility of a lovely fragrance. Go for a lavender/purple variety, since they tend to have the strongest perfume. Yellows, pinks, and whites can also be surprisingly strong.

Greatest Commercial Ever Made?

Well, a British guy named Dave thinks this television ad is.

Very politically incorrect. May offend radical feminists. May annoy other women, though....especially when they see what they're fighting over.

Bono's Day Job is Secure...

But this is still pretty cool in a weird way.....

(Tip o' the hat to Rantburg! BTW, changed my nom de guerre over there. I'm now Swamp Blondie.)

Not really sure if this is safe for work or not, but the song sure is catchy! (no skin, no nudity....just weird.)

The Latest Innovation in Airfare Sites

Want a good idea where travel booking sites could be headed in the future? Check out FlySpy. It's still in the very early stages (as in, if you ain't flying out of Minneapolis, it's not going to help you much right now), but the premise is a good one.

Say you want to take off to Hawaii, but want to see when the cheapest time to fly would be over the next 30 days. A couple of clicks, and you know when to schedule your vacation to save some serious bucks on the airfare.

The Plaza is Gone.....What Happened to Eloise?

Sure, Eloise never really existed. But the fantasy of living in a hotel persists.

Some people actually get to live the dream. That's right.....maid service, fresh towels, the works.

Of course, it ain't cheap. But if you ever wanted to know what it was like before you shelled out your lottery winnings, read the article and daydream away.

How to Navigate the Streets in the City With the Second-Worst Drivers in America

Yes, second worst. Hate to say it, but my ol' hometown has nada on Central Floridians. ("Tailgating...it's a way of life!!" More on that some other time, however.)

As a public service to the traveler, may I present:

Phoenix Driving Rules

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "FEE - niks."

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to 10:00a.m. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on all freeways-I-10, I-17, U.S. 60, Loop 202 -- is 85 mph. You may only exceed that speed on Loop 101, where the speed is allowed to match the highway number. Anything less is considered wimpy.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. Cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go next at a four-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires go after that. (Note: East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.)

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever..... Seriously!

7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9 . You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the I-10" are all names for the same road.

10. To find anything in Phoenix, it is required to know where Central and Washington are. This is our Alpha and Omega-the Beginning and the End.

11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

12. If you are in the left lane, and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly.

13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city driving.

14. You are allowed to wear potholders to protect your hands and fingers during the summer driving months. PS: It was 123 degrees in Bull Head City on 7/21/05 !!!!

15. If you are driving next to someone in June, July, August or September and they have their car windows open "DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT", they have enough problems already.

16. Leaving your closed can of pop in the car during the above same months, will result in the creation of a explosive device equal to a that of a small atomic bomb.

17.A cup of coffee left in your car in the morning will be hotter when you come back in the afternoon.

18. License plates are now "optional" in Arizona.

19. Contrary to popular belief, "Snowbirds" do not "fly".

20. 4x4 vehicles are standard for Phoenix valley highway driving - in case of that "sudden" blizzard in July.

Hip Travel Tip for the Nude Dude!

Yes, he knows who he is. He's wanted to go to a nudist resort for a long time, and I think I found just the place for him to go....

No, it's not a resort recommendation. What this link takes you to is apparently the unofficial US capital of nudist resorts. Bring your sunscreen and your bug spray, kiddo....and it may not be such a bad idea to bring the 'gator bat, too. (After all, you should have plenty of room in your luggage, since clothing is optional, right?) This county has quite the selection for the growing market, every thing from a $300 per night luxury villa to a RV park.

And before you ask....no one really needs to see a rather pregnant chick exposing her soon-to-be firstborn to the sun. Don't look for me there any time soon.

How to Know if You are Really Rich

Well, wait and see how you die, according to this article.

I know the answer for me...slightly affluent but not rich. I'm not going to meet the Reaper in a private plane crash any time soon.

I guess I should be taking a second look at the cities listed in this article, listing eight cheap places that are desirable (not so sure about Prescott, AZ being cheap, however, but it sure is pretty.)

An Inconvenient Question, Perhaps.....

I know that I originally started this as a more-or-less travel related blog. But lately I've been pondering political things far more than where to find great travel discounts.

I blame Joey for that. I don't doubt that having him is a good move. On the contrary, I can't wait to see the result of my impromptu genetic experiment (mix one Old World Slavic gentleman with a New World Slavic/Baltic hellraiser, and what will you get? Hmmm.....LET'S TRY IT OUT AND SEE IF WE ROLL SEVENS OR SNAKE EYES!!!).

I also can't wait to take him to some of the amazing and beautiful places in the world, to watch him grow, and see him master knowledge that I never could, due to my own lack of talent in that area and/or the fact the technology required still may not exist for a few years, and he'll be in the perfect age group to conquer it. You know....like why my parents could never program the VCR while their lazy lump of a daughter sittin' on the couch, familiar with most things computer, did it in a matter of minutes without even looking at the stupid manual. That kind of thing.

When I say political, yes, I mean personal things, mainly regarding being a chick who is going to be a mother. Considering all politics is at heart really about your own selfish interests, whatever they may be, that's natural. I'm looking at the world in a different light....and quite frankly, I don't get it.

I never paid much attention to all this "working vs stay at home mommy" stuff, believe it or not. I figured I'd make up my mind when the time came along. I gave up on planning my life for decades in the future based on incomplete current knowledge once I realized that life can and will throw you a curveball now and then, and wreck all your detailed plans in a blink of an eye. The twenty-year-old me could never have predicted that one day I'd have in-laws in Russia and be living in Florida (Florida!!) of all places, instead of married to that idjit I picked up at the campus radio station and living in some terminally hip metropolis.

Thank God for that! That idjit is probably splitting the ramen soup package into a lunch and dinner portion. I only wonder what he eats first....the salty broth or the tasteless noodles.

Anyway, I guess I'm just paying better attention to that stuff when it hit me. In every article about the plight of the working mother, the author keeps bringing up the childcare paradise that is Europe (ok, paradise in the writer's humble opinion) and how inadequate America is by comparison. Name the stat, and we're at the bottom.....no paid maternity/paternity leave, 80% of American childcare facilities suck, it costs a fortune even to have childcare that sucks, you have to start looking for it even before you conceive in some places, and the staff sticks around for maybe six weeks before quitting. Live-in help? Yeah, that's a good one....if you have a spare 30k or so, and can overlook the fact she's going to start smacking the kid around five minutes after you leave with a rubber hose (don't wanna leave any marks that might mess up the family Christmas portrait, right?) Meanwhile, Europe has universal day care, maternity leave for a year (or more), on-site pediatric care for sick children at said centers, hell...maybe even a place to drop off your dry cleaning and pick up a hot meal to go when you get the kidlet after work.

It sounds pretty sweet. I can't deny that. I applied at one company back in Phoenix before I moved (USAA insurance) because they offered such a facility to their employees as a benefit, and I was still on the Pill at the time.

Of course, in the description of this paradise, there's always a mention of how some past president (usually one of the Republican ones) shot down some spending bill that could have provided the exact same system here in America. Wrap it up with a "maybe our daughters will have a system like they do in Europe if we ever grow up" paragraph, and voila, you have an article ready for publication, possibly even a Newsweek cover story.

Uh.....not so fast, sister.

If it's all so perfect over there in Europe, how come most European women have only one kid, if they have any at all, whereas here in America, with our Neanderthal system, many women have two or even more?

Stop and think about it for a second. If it was really all that great as the writers seem to think it is over there, the Continentals should be pumping out the little ones like crazy. Peg Perego shouldn't have to export a single damn stroller to the US, because Italy (population growth rate one of the world's lowest at 1.2 kids per woman) would be using every one they produce. After all, they have all the things that a mother should need to support her and her child, according to these experts.

So, why are the governments over there offering to pay women to have more kids? The Tsar's own homeland, Russia, recently joined the trend of proposing a monthly stipend for each child born to Russian parents to shore up the population decline. I told the Tsar that maybe we should sign up Joey for it, since after all, he's half Russian and we could use the $30 or so every thirty days to save up for his future college tuition. I had to reassure him I was kidding to get him to stop glaring at me (truthfully, I was half kidding....anything extra in the college kitty is welcome, don't ya know?).

I haven't seen anything in our media about "Bonuses for Brats" offered by the President or Congress to shore up the American birth rate, currently at about 2.1, or replacement level, for you statistics freaks.

A couple of countries have stopped talking about it and actually have those bonuses. Their birthrates barely budged.

Something just doesn't add up.

There are groups in Europe that have as many kids as Americans do, and even more. They're called immigrants. They don't use the day care centers lauded in the articles, even though they are relatively cheap and are all over the place. They are precisely the ones that most European politicians wish would stop having rugrats, since in a few years, they fear that their native languages will be pushed aside in favor of the newcomers' Arabic, Turkish and African ones.

So, maybe it's time to look at it from a different perspective. What are we doing right after all, if women feel that two or three is a good number (like I still do, even though I'm getting a late start) while Europeans think that maybe only one is doable, if that, in spite of all the extra help?

Don't give me this "we're all buying into the patriarchy" crap, either. My generation, and the one after it just coming into adulthood, feature some of the most outspoken females ever unleashed on this great land, and that's saying something right there. American chicks have always been on the feisty side. We were brought up to believe that we could do virtually everything a man can do, and dammit, a lot of my friends have managed to get there, more or less. (One can even pee standing up. It's frightening, really. No, it's not me, and I won't tell you who it is.)

It's a cultural thing, IMHO. Whenever I tell the Tsar that I bought something for Joey with the express intention of also using it for the next possible child, he gets this "you sure you don't just want one?" thing going. Many of his Russian friends have stopped at one, even though they live here now. It usually keeps going until I say something like "Ok, we'll see if we can handle only Joey. But I still want the option of another one in a couple years.....and you better give me a girl next time!"

Yeah, I'm bowed by the patriarchy, aren't I?

He may be descended from the same stock that pushed the Nazis back at Stalingrad, but he ain't winning this battle.

Back to the original question: what gives with the kiddie situation, and could it be possible that maybe we are doing something right in spite of all the things that these "experts" tell us we are screwing up? After all, if I thought this planet was incredibly farked up beyond saving, the last thing I would want to do is bring an innocent life into this mess. And in spite of not having any idea where I could get decent childcare out here in Redneck Rocket Scientist Land, I'm still planning on having more than one, unlike my European counterparts.

Discuss.

I Guess I'm Still a Liberal, But.....

I could have written a lot of this post, too.

I guess there are more of us out there than the media would like you to believe there are, with their focus on nutjobs like Howard Dean, the Daily Kos crowd, and other idiots who don't understand why "Zionazi" is such an offensive, ignorant word.

It's been pretty damn weird the last couple of years. Most of my friends are over on the liberal side, too. I've noticed more and more of them starting up with crap like "Bushitler", "Chimpy Cheney McHalliburton", "the election was stolen....twice!!", "Bush knew there were no WMD's", blah blah blah.

Enough already with this crap, ok? You don't like the president? Fine, I don't either most of the time. But you're not acting any more mature than the idiots who were equating Bill Clinton (or usually more often, Hillary) with communism.

Grow the hell up, dammit!!!

There were a few things that Mr Swirsky did not address in his post that I want to add.

1) The Democrats are not going to win a single damn Presidential election until they put up a candidate who will actually admit that Islamic terrorism is a bad thing, and mean it. That means no Dean, no Murtha, no Pelosi, no Reid.

I frankly am tired of hearing justifications for them blowing shit up that usually involve some blame on our part. I just want them to stop it, immediately. If they won't do it voluntarily, then I guess we have to bring enough pain to make them understand this is not a winning strategy. Yes, it's part of the "You can make me cry, but I can decapitate your sorry ass and leave nothing to bury" kind of thinking that conservatives tend to have. So be it. For once they may be right.

And please, no nominees who blew their previous chances trying yet again to sell themselves to the American public. Tell Al Gore to go back to his farm in Tennessee (give the boy a map, he's probably forgotten where it is, anyway), and tell Kerry to go get Teresa's dry cleaning and shut the hell up about lucky hats from CIA operatives in Cambodia.

Get someone like Lieberman and maybe, maybe you have a shot. Yes, I know, that would mean taking into account flyover country's feelings about the War on Terror, or "al-Qaeda in Iraq which has absolutely no connection to al-Qaeda in the rest of the world" as portrayed in the NY Times. Deal with it. You need their votes.

Being condescending might get you some bandwidth on Atrios, but being respectful might get you the White House. What do you want....power or another four-year whine fest?

2) Knock it off with the anti-semitic crap already.

If the Republicans are supposed to be the Nazis, why the hell are you parroting some of their best lines? You know the ones....Jewish money controls the media....there are too many Jews exerting influence over the government and academia....

Damn, why don't you just come out and say that a swarthy Jewish boy is going to defile Aryan nationhood by impregnating our frauleins with mongrel babies, and get it over with? What's next, quotes from the actual Protocols of the Elders of Zion? (Keep the one about Jews making matzoh with blood for Passover season. The voters will be reminded of it every time they go to the store that month and have to pass the kosher food display. Brilliant, no?)

3) There is nothing, I repeat, nothing vaguely honorable about the Palestinians. If they ever do anything that could be considered an improvement of the human condition, I will take it partially back. Two things, and it will be a complete retraction.

My grandchildren will visit Mars before that happens, if they continue their current modes of misbehavior.

Bangladesh manages to produce jute for export, for Christ's sake, and that has to be one of the most godforsaken hellholes on the planet. Name one damn thing the Palestinians have ever created, except shrapnel, suicide bombers, and hate propaganda.

4) Illegal aliens are not immigrants. Immigrants file paperwork, wait around for a gazillion years for their green cards to be issued, and pay taxes to the government in the meantime. All the while, they live with the fear that some official might take a personal dislike to them and deport them for any stupid reason you can imagine.

"You've been here a bunch of years, been paying taxes, and have American-born kids? Never broke the law, never even got a speeding ticket? That's fascinating....get yer ass on the bus back to the airport for your one-way ticket to your homeland, and shaddup. No, you don't have Constitutional rights. Sorry."

I know. I'm married to one. You wouldn't have seen him in the marches waving a Mexican flag. He was too busy working, along with his other coworkers from Costa Rica, India and Ireland. They have a project deadline to make.....

If we're lucky, my husband will get a green card by the time our little Joey gets to kindergarten.

If we're not and that bullshit bill sponsored by "Amnesty John" McCain & "Bartender! Make it a Triple!" Ted Kennedy goes through, he'll have to wait until Joey graduates from high school, since we have to take into account that someone who ignored the proper channels to get here was technically in this country before the Tsar was, and in the interests of "fairness"......which apply in a sophisticated manner I'm too stupid to understand.....the illegal gets to cut in line ahead of him by procuring fake documentation and a $1000 or so fine.

I wouldn't be surprised if there was free legal help included. It's a smoking deal....considering we've paid over $3000 for our lawyer, and the bill keeps ratcheting up.

Who knows, we might have the house paid off, the Tsar might have accumulated enough credits with the Social Security system to get a microscopic check when he turns 70, and we just might win the Florida Lottery by the time he gets that card, too. But I keep thinking it will arrive in the mail the day after he dies if this stupid bill goes through.

Thanks so much, Senators, this VOTER and her family and friends who VOTE really appreciate your efforts. By the way, Teddy....FYI....most of these so-called "future voters" tend to turn Republican once they get the power of the ballot box. Don't believe me? Look at the stats for Hispanic voters. Yep, do all you can to ensure your party doesn't get back in.

No wonder the Democrat symbol is the jackass.

Can't you guys go do something else, like take a bribe from a lobbyist?

5) Aw, to hell with it.

I'm just going to come out and say it.

I voted for W and I drive a Subaru and was a guvmint worker for over a decade!

I couldn't stand Kerry. He should have had my vote, but I just couldn't do it.

It wasn't the Botox that made his forehead immovable, his constant invocation of @#$%-ing Vietnam (crap.....he wasn't even there a year! McCain was a prisoner in the Hanoi Hilton for over seven years, and he doesn't bring it up during every damn interview on every damn topic!), or that "I voted for it before I voted against it" crap.

It was his assertion that we could handle bin Laden & Co as an international legal problem. Yes, by all means, bringing him up before the International Criminal Court in the Hague would work so well. They did a bang-up job with Milosevic. Sure, they say he died of a heart attack, but I'd wager it was just boredom after being on trial for ten freaking years with no end to the proceedings in sight. Since they are getting warmed up with the Rwanda case, they should get to ol' Skinny in about 15 more years if we brought him in right now.

It was his assertion that we would not take any action anywhere unless it passed a "global test". I guess that means we would have to get the UN to bless any kind of American military action anywhere. Excuse me while I ponder this, and try to keep from laughing at the idea of a bureaucracy even more bloated than the US government making decisions on our behalf whilst the rest of the world gets to act without their sanction (yes, I'm thinking of France in the Ivory Coast, to be specific).

And finally, it was his assertion that we need to leave Iraq immediately before they even got a government of their own off the ground. I'm still not convinced invading was the best thing to do, but mucking it up and leaving it a mess definitely is not an improvement.

As a matter of fact, Kerry still apparently thinks it's a good idea. Click on the link to read an excerpt of the bill that went down 93-6 that the junior senator from Massachusetts sponsored. It's off his own website. This is what he chose to highlight as positive points for consideration.

If I'm getting the nuances correctly, he wanted us to confer with representatives of Iran and Syria to determine the Iraqis' fate. Yeah, I'm sure they would only have their best interests at heart. Fark the elected government that is currently in place in Iraq, their neighbors (and the other representatives of this "coalition of the stupid") know better. The president would also have to get Congressional blessing on the plan.....forget about what the pesky Constitution says about who gets what governmental powers.

Dear Sweet Mother of God, this nation sure dodged a bullet when this idiot lost the election! I think if he were in, he would have rivaled the glory days of the Carter administration.

(Speaking of Carter, when that buffoon finally shucks his last peanut, I'm throwing a huge ol' party.)

If liberals keep being this nuts, I swear I'm going to put a "Condi 2008" bumper sticker on the back of that Subaru.

Don't make me follow through with that.....

I might not stop there if I start putting stickers on it. It's a Subaru thang, you know.

One of them might even be complimentary to the current Commander in Chief, if you other liberals keep going in this crazy direction.

I swear I'll do it!

(goes off to the corner, holding my head and softly moaning "I can't believe I said that!")

Psst, Buddy......Want a Good Steak?

And a relatively cheap vacation, too?

Well, pardner, forget about Texas. Yes, there's somewhere better than Texas for beef. The Omaha Steaks people aren't going to bring you these tasty morsels, either. Nope, you gotta dust off that passport and get some funny looking foreign money to enjoy what are the best damn steaks you will ever have.

Don't be put off too much by the title of this article, or by it's discussion of how your retirement dollars will go far here. Delve past the first few paragraphs, and find out where to stay in this little piece of Europe that kind of got lost (in the locals' opinions, anyway.....they think they're Europeans, regardless of what geography says.......)

Leave the A-1 at home, unless you're a Russian.

What is it with Russians and A-1 sauce, anyway? Even the Tsar can't answer that one....

Ever Wanted to Heed Nature's Call in a Meadow?

Well, then, gents, get yer bladders to Stockholm's Arlanda airport, where lovely glass panels portraying a flower-filled meadow will ease your weary minds.

Us ladies have only the imitation buttercups made out of red glass.

Apparently to cut down on the smell and some guys' lack of proper aim, the glass panels were installed to make the urinals more pleasant to use.

If you prefer to look out at the tarmac instead, don't worry, they've accomodated you, too. Just please, try not to "express yourself" on your least favorite carrier should one of their planes go past.....

Airline Strike Watch #54

Ok, I haven't posted that many yet, but I liked the way it sounded.

The latest company to be a bit wary of in the potential strike department is an old favorite. Northwest's flight attendants have just shot down a contract that the airline claims would have saved it $195 billion. This allows both the airline to rip up the current contract under terms of it's bankruptcy agreement, and sets up a possible strike to be called later this year if the airline follows through on that threat.

Will keep you posted.....

C'mon Now....Baby Needs New Shoes!!

You'd think that having been to Vegas a few times, I'd know the answer to this, but I don't. Does any casino out there allow you to place a bet on a political race?

The reason I'm asking? I'm convinced that Markos Moulitsas Zuniga of the Daily Kos works for Karl Rove.

Seriously.....he's picked a favorite in twenty different elections. How many have won?

None.

Nada.

Zip.

He places his bets, and rolls snake eyes every single time. His latest bum bet was on the California 50 race. The voters had to pick out a new representative to replace Duke Cunningham, the poster boy for corruption. The Kos champion ran on a platform emphasizing that stirring political value of "competence". If there is one thing to definitely get the voters motivated, it's competence....She got whacked by a former lobbyist.

Right now, he's rivaling the Tampa Bay Bucs of 1976-1977, who got an impressive 0-26 record in their inaugural season.

In the Buccaneers' defense, however, they were a rookie team. Kos was and is a well compensated political operative. It's not like he's picking the winner of the National Spelling Bee. As a professional, he should be able to pick at least one guy or gal who can win an election.

So it got me thinking. Maybe I should find out where I can place a bet on a political race, and scrape together a few dead presidents. Whoever Karl Jr Kos supports.....put it on the opposition, no matter how offensive I might find him or her.

I'll rack up a college fund for my little Joey in no time!!

"So Sorry to Hear Gramps Died. Now Pay Full Fare and Shaddup!"

In a "cost cutting" move that is sure to incense travelers once it is better publicized, many airlines are quietly doing away with their last-minute bereavement fares.

Don't even think about asking for them on US Airways, Delta or Air Canada. They don't have them any more. Alaska has slashed the traditional 50% discount to 25%. That's still better than Continental's 5-10% discount, or United's and American's imposition of a $100 charge if you have to change your flight at the last minute due to a family member's treatment schedule or a sudden worsening of their health. The weirdest new twist comes from Northwest, which now requires you to sign up for their frequent flyer plan if you want the discount.

Speaking of frequent flyer miles and airline credits, good luck trying to get the airlines to take them if you have to fly on short notice. Expect expediting fees for last minute travel, no matter what the excuse.

I sure hope the airlines are saving big bucks with this strategy. They say that you can often do better with an online search on one of the discount fare sites. I'm not really buying that, since most everybody uses those sites now to book regular travel. The last minute discount fare was something that wasn't used much. It did, however, give people traveling during a bad time in their lives one less thing to worry about. I used them myself after the death of my father, and it was nice to not have to shop around at an emotionally difficult time.

All the Jet Set Chick can see is a bunch of potential future customers who will decide never to fly certain carriers again because the new rules piss them off during a stressful time in their lives. I doubt the "savings" will compare favorably to the cost of generating that much bad will.

Where the Hell Have I Been???

Well, been busy trying to buy a house here in Hurricane Central. Looks like we will be 1/3 acre land barons by the end of July!! (Which is a very good thing, since Joey's due date is 2 October, and our lease is up 30 September. I really didn't want to trick the Swamp Thang out with a nursery in the back seat if I could avoid it.....)

Anyway, am off to make a devils' food cake and freak out the neighbors with my little devil horns from Halloween! Maybe I'll even sneak off and see "The Omen" with the Tsar.

Have a hell of a good time, denizens of the Jet Set Lounge!!